I Went Running. What Did You See?
(If you can name the book that inspired the title of the post, you are definitely an early elementary teacher. And I love you a little bit more than I did two seconds ago.)
Friends, I went running this weekend. Running. Running as in sneakers on, headphones in, Mini napping and work bag idle in a corner running. Running.
I know I keep typing it, but it’s like my fingers are in shock. So are my feet. And my legs. And – holy crap – the endorphins! I am awesome right now. AWESOME. Awesome with a capital amaze balls.
Why has it taken me so long to get back on the horse? And, honestly, was I ever really on the horse to begin with? Oh. Wait. I know. I’m an educator and we feel intense guilt whenever we do something for ourselves with time we feel like we should be doing something for our classrooms, or our families, or our friends or all the other individuals who get neglected between the months of
Setpember August and June. I doubled down with that guilt a little over a year ago when I became a mommy and, holy shit you guys, the mommy / educator combo is a whole world of guilt I never knew existed! It’s like a layer of guilt wrapped up in a you-suck-at-balancing-everything wrap. Mayo on the side of course. (See what I mean? These endorphins have made me insane!)
If you’ve been reading me for awhile, you know that I am on a constant search for Zen. (Read more posts about my impossible dream here.) And I feel like every teacher friend I have is too. We all lament our inability to go to the gym, to get a pedicure, to sit down and enjoy a book for ourselves. We all make grand promises to fit that stuff in. Because we are teachers, we organize a massive Plan To Do More For Ourselves And Be More Efficient which includes goals that are impossible to meet. Like “go running six days a week” or “only eat dessert twice a month” or “grade papers the same night that I collect them” or “answer every single email I receive within 24 hours.” Um, can you say “set yourself up for failure much?”
But you know what I did today? Inspired by
my version of a self help book The Happiness Project, I stopped complaining about how I never get to do anything for myself and used that time to actually go and do something for myself. (Effing revolutionary, I know.) I didn’t tell myself I was going to run seven miles, I started with one. And then I came home so freaking proud of myself and hopped up on endorphins that I know I will do it again. Sooner rather than later.
And I thought to myself, “Self, maybe we should start a TEACHER’s Happiness Project….” In the spirit of continuing to strive for that Zen, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. In the spirit of just starting and starting small, let’s just keep it to the blog for now. I’ll post about what I did to find more balance and be happier and you can respond with what you did (or hope to do) in the comments.