I have a lot of respect for kindegarten teachers. I like little ones, but kindegarteners are WAY too little. I see some of my colleagues in the hallways and, despite their best efforts, it always looks a bit like they are herding cats. However, from my current position as “the cool teacher down the hall with the big kids”, I enjoy admiring my little mini-friends from afar. In fact, one particular mini-friend might be the cutest little one I have ever seen EVER and, don’t take this verbage the wrong way, he has become somewhat of a class pet. All my friends and I adore this kid. He is super duper mini, has the crazy little high pitched voice and no ability to filter what he says AT ALL. Plus, like icing on the cake, he is a Naughty Boy in training…he has this wonderfully saucy side to go with his cute personality.
Mini Friend gets sent to my room fairly frequently – when he’s not allowed to go on a field trip, when he’s been naughty (heart it!), or just for a visit. Sometimes he comes bearing notes asking for favors and other times he comes just to brighten my day.
Can you tell I love this kid yet?
If you can’t…I worry about your ability to use context clues.
The other day, Mini Friend walks into my room and without seeming to notice that there are twenty big kids on the carpet in front of me, interrupts us by saying, “Mrs. Mimi, I’m in trouble.”
“Sweetheart, what did you do?”
Mini Friend ducks his head with a little smirk and hands me a paper. On the paper are some incoherent kindegarten scribbles. Fortuantely, “child” is my third language and as I scan the page, I think I see the word “Ta-tas”. Ta-tas? That can’t be right…wait, let me check the post it. It reads, “Your friend was writing a poem about boobs.”
Ah, thoooooose Ta-tas. I quickly pull myself together (because I am DYING!!!) and say, “Mini Friend, please go sit at the back table.”
Fast forward twenty-ish mintues when my friends are diligently working away on a math project. I make my way back to Mini Friend to have A Little Talk.
Me: Mini Friend, what were you writing a poem about?
Me: (Did he really just say “titties” to me without batting an eyelash?!?) Oh, uhhhh….well, do you know what titties are? (I can’t believe I just used the word “titties” at work.)
Me: Ok. Well those are private. They are one of the private parts that we don’t write about in poems at school.
MF: (smiling and nodding)
Me: Were you trying to get your friends to laugh and smile at that silly word? I know sometimes kindegartners think privates are pretty funny.
MF: (nodding…bashful ADORABLE smiling)
Me: Can we come up with a list of better topics for a poem together?
MF: (more nodding)
Me: (whipping out a beloved Post It note and a tangerine Sharpie) Any ideas?
MF: Teddy bears?
Me: (Did he say “titty” bears??) Did you say teddy bears, friend?
Me: Ah! Fabulous idea….
I sent him back to class with a list of five more kindegarten-friendly topics for poetry. I kept the Titty poem and boob Post It for myself.