It’s Getting Hot In Here…

…So Take Off All Your Clothes…or at least strip down to a school- appropriate layer.

Why you ask? Why are we stripping in my classroom? In December?

Because today it was officially 89 degrees in my classroom. Yes, 89. I’m thinking about dressing everyone up in grass skirts and just having a luau. You know, for ha has.

I was snuggled up to a little friend today, chatting about their writing, when I felt beads of sweat rolling down my back. And I thought to myself, “self, WTF, it’s December and you’re sweating through your SLEEVELESS SHIRT!” I then glanced at the radiator, which was pumping out heat at such an intense level that you could actually see it rising up in front of the windows. Four of which were open. Again, it is December and today it was only 38 degrees outside.

For some reason I will never understand, The Visionary commanded our custodial staff to crank up the heat prior to our parent teacher conferences about two weeks ago. Maybe he wanted to sweat them out, maybe he wanted to show off the radiators, maybe he’s trying to lose a few pounds…who knows. All I know is it is freaking hot.

Creeping around my bedroom and picking an outfit at 5:30 in the morning in the dark so Mr. Mimi can sleep is hard enough without throwing in the extra challenge of choosing something that has enough layers to keep me warm on the commute and cool in the classroom. Plus, I have shelf after shelf of fabulous, wooly sweaters (I have a winter birthday…and am on the spoiled side, so seriously, I’m talking about a hideous number of sweaters here) that I have been fantasizing about ever since I decided I was sick of my summer wardrobe.

So now, not only am I mourning my inability to wear my favorite winter wear, but I am also dealing with chronic bloody noses (If you are a student teacher or new to teaching…you need to be real with yourself about the sheer amount and varied types of bodily fluids you are about to encounter..you’ll thank me later because no one else will warn you about this stuff.), sleepy children and abandoned sweaters piled up in all corners of the classroom. In the last week alone I have said the phrase, “put your clothes back on” more times than I care to admit as children attempt to strip down to their undershirts.

And every time I picture the germs that must be breeding in our sweltering sweatbox of a classroom, I think I might hurl.

Yesterday I finally thought to ask The Visionary if we could turn down the heat. You know, just a smidge. My request was met with a resounding, “it’s either on or off!” which I find very hard to believe since I witnessed a custodian turn it up myself. I mean, if there’s an up, there’s a down, friend. As I left the office, I heard the secretary mutter under her breath, “those teachers, always complaining.”

Nice.

Maybe I’ll just turn this negative into a positive and embrace the sweating. You know, I’ll sweat off a few holiday pounds and be ready for bikini season by the time June arrives. See? I can be an optimist too.