State of the Union Address

To all of you who have been missing me – thanks for the emails and kind words. Sorry it took me so long to get something up, but I had to scrape myself off the bottom of the administration’s shoe… you know, after being stepped on and overlooked repeatedly. Yea, it’s been an awesome two weeks.

And to all of you who think I “complain too much” , stop reading immediately (although what I really want to say shouldn’t ever really be repeated out loud), because it’s going to start now. I figure better air out my frustrations anonymously here than in my classroom. It’s either blog, or cry myself to sleep.

Some of you may remember that parking has been quite the issue as of late. And really, it’s not the fault of anyone I work with that our number of parking spots is being cut back drastically. Truly, the people to blame are 1). the asshats who began giving out too many passes to their buddies rather than school employees, and 2). the d-bags at the top who decided to universally cut down on the number of parking spots AFTER the school year had begun and with no apparent system whatsoever. I get that. There’s no one to blame at my school.

Or so I thought. Sadly, this situation has turned many of my former super colleagues (now officially d-bags themselves) who have turned into backstabbing liars. Yes, after banding together to battle against the administration, difficult parents and the lazy sacks of hair who populate our building, we have now turned against one another.

And I blame the union.

Today, we had a union “meeting” (you say “meeting”, I say “waste of my time”) to discuss the parking situation and voice our concerns. Silly me for thinking that someone (ANYone) would actually listen. You see, ultimately the decision of who gets the precious parking passes belongs to our principal. He might as well start wearing a creepy purple jacket and top hat and call himself Willy Wonka at this point…I wish I could find a parking pass in a chocolate bar.

However, our union rep is supposed to meet with him, share our concerns and our proposed strategy for determining who gets what. It all sounds fine, except that this might require that our union rep DO SOMETHING and/or LISTEN. Normally, she uses her extra free periods (given to her to complete union related business ) to go home early, so you can imagine her surprise when we called upon her to actually represent us. (Um, hi, it’s called you JOB?!?)

So we go to this meeting and every single concern is either a) shot down by our union rep, or b) met with defensive comments from our union rep – although oddly enough, no one was attacking her or blaming her for anything. Oh, and did mention that she failed to write anything down??!?! Yet somehow, we are supposed to feel as if she is taking us seriously, and will represent all of our voices when she meets with The Visionary.

Riiiiiight.

Oh, but wait! It gets even better!

There is a sheet for all of us to sign. We have to write our names, our addresses, and our approximate distance for school as well as indicate if we drive on a daily basis.

I write my name, my address, and my mileage (in big bold print) and I am about to fill in “yes, I drive everyday” when my conscience gets the better of me. Because I don’t drive EVERY day. I mean, am I going to succumb to the pressure to become a d-jockey and blatantly lie to get a pass? No, the answer is no, I’m not. So I am honest and write that I drive about half the time.

As I walk out of the oh-so-NOT-productive meeting, I glance at the sheet. And it’s then that I realized, I WORK WITH LYING SCUM!!

According to this sheet, some people have written that they live over 50 miles away when it is quite obvious to everyone with brain (and or access to a map) that that is physically impossible. All of a sudden, everyone lives HOURS from school, and NO ONE admits to living within the city limits, choosing to use a relatives much farther address instead. And my personal fave….there is on person who signed up for a pass, stating that yes, they drive EVERYDAY and live approximately 30 miles from school when they DON’T EVEN OWN A CAR!!! (I wish I was kidding.)

I fumed my way back to my classroom. And although I want to run screaming down the hall perhaps clotheslining my lying colleagues on the way, I don’t. Because I blame our union rep for handling this situation so poorly, thereby creating an environment where everyone ceases to give a shit about one another. I blame HER for that. Oh, and for taking a pass when she herself lives approximately 528 FEET from school.

I hope a tree falls on her car.