Sippin’ On Gin and Juice…
….or I guess Malibu and juice would be more accurate…well, if I’m really honest, probably just Malibu.
First of all, I AM OFFICALLY ON SUMMER VACATION!!!! And what am I doing first? Blogging. I’m not sure what that says about me. OK, well the first thing I did was make coffee, and then blog. But I am excited to be in control of my own time all day today…what will I do with all my time??? I mean, just the idea of being able to pee when I want to is exciting…how sad is that?
Yesterday wasn’t easy though. The kids were pumped, and I was ready to be done, but we had to endure another useless half day in which no learning took place at all. Add to that the lack of structure that permiates the school on the last day, combine that with some donut holes and you have a recipe for a super head ache. I was sad to see many of them go (actually teared up a bit), but there’s something about that last day and all the chaos surrounding putting one’s classroom to bed that makes it much easier to say goodbye (and don’t let the door hit you on the….).
I don’t expect many gifts. My students can’t afford them, but occassionally families get creative. Some of you may remember my heart warming tale of Christmas Joy in which I recieved an actual G-string from a student. (So serious…although, to be totally truthful, it was for me AND Mr. Mimi – or at least that’s what the kid told me.) I did get some very sweet cards this year, and a few overly shiny necklaces lovingly selected from the Dollar Store. All very thoughtful. And then…
I had a parent (who I really like) come up to me with a real winner.
Parent:”Here you go, girl. I know you can use this!!” (She hands me a brown paper bag) “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to wrap it.”
Me: “Don’t worry. You didn’t have to do this. Thank you so much for thinking of me.”
I take the bag and peek inside to find…
…a bottle of Malibu rum.
Now, I do happen to enjoy the fruity cocktail topped off with a bit of alcholic coconut-flavored love, but…we are in a school. And I work inside that school. I do NOT sit outside the school sipping on a little gin and juice. Or at least, I don’t yet.
I thank the parent (isn’t it the thought that counts?) and quickly fold over the top of the bag, trying desperately to hide the fact that now I am leading my class upstairs holding a bottle of booze.
Fast foward to last night. I am home from work (and offically on vacation!). Clearly, I’m slightly drunk. No, no, not off the Malibu. But I did go have one or two (or five) beers with the girls to celebrate the end of the year.
Mr. Mimi comes home and congratulates me on finishing the year in one piece. I tell him to reach into my bag to see the thoughtful gift that I had receieved. I am literally dying for him to see it…I mean, it’s just too good.
He pulls out the bottle of Malibu. ” Get out!!” he shouts, “A PARENT gave you this? Which one?”
As I begin to tell him the story, he holds up the bottle to the light (why do people do that?) and interrupts me saying,
“This bottle is open.”
“It’s open. Did you have any?”
“So they gave you an open bottle of rum? And look, there’s some missing.”
He holds up the bottle again, and we notice that it isn’t full. Someone has defintely taken a sip or two (or five).
That’s…kind of weird and gross!
I humbly offer the following – if for no other reason than you need something to focus on while you’re pouring it out — other than the Ick Factor…
The parent probably gave you the gift because he KNOWS what his kid is like. (And appreciates the fact that you made it through without needing EMT intervention.) Can ya really blame him for taking a couple of sips…I mean, given that he deals with the kid round-the-clock….?
17 (really 15) more years
I’ve gotten so many bottles of wine from kids, I could open a small liquor store. Having said that, none of them have been – uh- used.
I think your parent took the whole regifting thing a wee bit too far.
Happy First Day of Vacation!
Holy Hannah! I thought the negligee that one of our teacher’s received was a bit odd! I think this might be the strangest thing… no wait I’m not going to say it, I don’t want to tempt fate!
I’m new to your blog, but I love the little chuckle I get every time I read. I look forward to more exciting adventures!
It would never occur to me to give my children’s teacher wine or booze of any kind — you never know who likes what, or who’s had to swear off drinking for whatever reason. I give gift cards (not in huge amounts) to Barnes & Noble. I hope that’s not lame.
I’m a parent with some money and a real desire to gift my daughter’s lovely, kind, female, 5th grade teacher with something she will truly appreciate. Help me out? What would you enjoy receiving from a parent who already thanks you in notes, etc., but wants to give you a thank you gift, now, at the end of the school year? Something tangible that can be purchased and wrapped and used and will be appreciated.
OMG! (dies laughing)
I’m laughing hysterically here! You managed to top my best re-gift of the year, which was a basket of candles, various sizes, colors, and scents – all of which had been burned at least once before and many of which had an inch thick layer of dust on them!
my mom’s a kindergarten teacher.
she’s been teach like, nearly 30 years in all now, and this was the FIRST YEAR she has EVER gotten…
a bottle of WINE from a parent!
But WOO! Congratulations on the end of the year!
You made it! I know the feeling of relief mixed with sadness to see the little creatures leave each year. A friend of mine teaches in Hawaii, and she was given a coffee cup with a tiny bottle of tequila and a lime in the cup. She and I found that to be highly amusing. The parent is also the PTA president or someone highly involved in the school 🙂 Cheers!
HAVE A GRRRREAT SUMMER!!!
Ours is half over- bummer.
PS- Don’t sip the juice…. NAAASTY.
Well, if it’s the thought that counts, I guess that counts for something…maybe. Congrats on FINALLY being on summer vacation!! WOW!!
I’m not surprised!
Don’t Lie, Mrs. M! We all know you were taking trips behind the desk for a sip or five. “Why is Mrs. M constantly looking through her files?”
Lucky you have a perceptive husband! 😉
congrats on surviving! we are on holidays at the moment too (only 2 weeks).
i loved the idea of the malibu- had a giggle at the parent’s comment that it is “something you need”. Then sat in shock at the fact it had been opened!
poor you – you have had a tough year!!
enjoy your holidays!!
You NEED to write a book about this stuff.
I love your blog! It keeps me laughing! I just finished my first year of teaching and I don’t even drink, but let me tell you, by the last day of school I was thinking about vodka!
The life of a teacher is always exciting. Can you imagine a reality show “A day in the life of a teacher,” and the profits it would make? Granted we would all be fired but this particular episode would be extremely entertaining to say the least. I hope you have been enjoying untampered with vacation cocktails.
When I read this I couldn’t believe it. I am in my last year of school and will start teaching next year and I coudln’t imagine getting alcohol from a parent as the end of the gift! I couldn’t stop laughing but then I thought it was kind of sad that the present you recieved had already been used!
I knew a teacher once who got used makeup from a student!!!
this is absolutely hilarious! I can’t believe someone gave you that for a Christmas gift. I mean great gift but I don’t know if that’s so appropriate to give at school. Maybe they could take you out to dinner later on, but then again if they had taken a few sips I guess they got all of the enjoyment out of it that they needed. You might want to be careful with that one haha. Have a great break!
Once I had a parent ask me to walk them to their car which was off school property. When she opened the trunk she had a case of Budweiser for me. I thanked her but I had to decline the present.
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