It’s A Boy!!

I walked into the cafeteria to pick up my class today.

“Mrs. Mimi!”, shouted Curly, “It’s a boy!!!”

Now, many of you may remember that he made a similar early morning announcement about his mother “peeing on a stick”. Well, it’s a boy…and although he was hoping for a girl, Curly seems pumped. He already has an older brother (who I taught years ago) and is excited for a younger brother. I know that he used to give his older brother a very hard time…I reminded him of this, warning him that maybe his NEW little brother would give HIM a hard time. He smiled, nodded and said, “I was a pain….(sigh)…good times.”

No lie! This kid is phenomenal.

And while it is very cute, let this serve as a warning to you parents out there….I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

Let me say that again. YOUR CHILD REPEATS EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND DO ONCE THEY ARE AT SCHOOL. And clearly, using Curly as an example, no event or room of your home is off limits…not even the bathroom.

Now, I know to many of us, this seems like common sense. But then why do I get daily reports of fathers in weight watchers (or as my students call it “fat class”) who later hit the drive thru at McDonalds, stories about parents who went on successful dates and brought someone home (one child actually used the words “booty call” with me), and, my personal favorite, tales of that “special cigarette” that mommy smokes with daddy sometimes. Um, sweetheart? I think that is called a doobie.

And I know it goes both ways, parents. I have taught your children to say “fabulous” at potentially very inconvenient times (I take no responsibility if they get the crap beat out of them on the playground for liberally using this word). I am also aware that “Mrs. Mimi says” is probably one of your least favorite phrases, because I say a lot.

But please, let’s try to keep the porn to a minimum because it’s very awkward during morning meeting when one of my friends shares that mommy and/or daddy were watching a “naked people movie” with lots of “screaming” and “bumping into each other.”