If There’s Tension And You Know It, Clap Your Hands…

CLAP! CLAP!

Maybe it’s just that time of year, but doesn’t seem like every year that once spring comes, patience and positive attitudes go? Everyone is SO ANNOYED with everyone else (and no, I’m not talking about the kids, I’m talking about the numerous adults that I want to snap in half).

Example #1:

The vice principal sends a snippy-pants email to everyone demanding that we update our substitute packets in the office stating that it is unfair to “dump” children on our colleagues without work to do when we are absent.

Um, pardon me, but isn’t the administration that is doing the actual “dumping” without notice rather than getting a sub or (gasp) putting together a schedule in which the out of the classroom teachers cover the absent teacher during their MULTIPLE free periods a day?

And, just another small point, I do seem to remember having students “dumped” on me without a sub packet on many occasions despite my personal knowledge that said teacher did leave a packet of work behind. And when I asked the administration for a copy of that packet, I was told (and I quote), “I am not dealing with that. It’s your problem.”

Of course it is.

Example #2:

I am sitting in a committee meeting. We meet every month. We are supposed to do something. My colleague, who was absent for four months on maternity leave, was shocked to see that in four months time, we had accomplished absolutely nothing. That in fact, we were having the same argument we were having four months ago.

Perhaps that is because our meetings are run by an outsider from a near by college. A “facilitator” who is charged with “keeping us on track” because clearly as adults in possession of multiple advanced degrees, we can not be expected to facilitate ourselves.

Way to go sister friend, way to facilitate that progress.

Example #3:

I am mid-brilliant mini lesson. Seriously, I should have been taping this…kids are engaged, turning and talking with their partners and my teaching point is oh-so-relevant. (Side note, I have never been that afraid of tooting my own horn).

I am about to utter the words that will pull all of their thinking together, magically connecting it to their work when….

RRRRIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

WTF?

RRRRIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!

Is that the phone?

RRRRRIIINNNNGGGGG!!!!

Oh, someone had better be on fire for this to be a worthwhile interruption….

“Hello?”

“This the nurse.” (I’m not kidding…her statement was totally lacking a verb).

“Yes?”

“I need a phone number.”

“They are in the office filed under my class number.”

“I don’t want to get up and walk there.”

(Are you kidding me?)

“Well, I don’t to stop doing my job just so I can start doing yours. Check the office.”

CLICK.

“I’m so sorry friends, as I was saying…today, we are , um… (damn! I have lost my train of thought! What was I teaching?? Oh yeah)….so today, when you go back to your seats, I want you to…”

RRRRIIINNNGGGGG!

(I am so going to kill this woman).

RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!

“Aren’t you going to answer that Mrs. Mimi?”

(Oh, I’ll answer it sweetheart.)

(Through gritted teeth) “Hello?”

“Ya, this is Mrs. Copylady. Your copies done.”

“Ok….I’ll pick them up when I drop the kids off for lunch. Thank you”

“No. You need to pick them up now.”

“But I’m in the middle of a lesson.”

“Now.”

(Is she freaking serious??!?? )

“I can’t, I have kids.”

“Send one of them.”

“You want me to send a child to pick up the copies? I put in copies for the whole grade for an entire unit.”

“Yea, it’s like 500 copies.”

“And you want me to send a small child, who is supposed to be reading, to pick them up. And why is this so urgent?”

“Because they’re done.”

(I suppose you’d like me to send down a cookie or small trophy with the child as well?)

My list could go on and on for days, because sadly, we all want to kill each other right now. Thank goodness for holiday weekends.

CLAP! CLAP!