If You Can’t Handle The Heat….

Well, well, well. Juicy, juicy, juicy.

Every week, I am required to meet with the Bacon Hunter so that I can “collaborate with her and improve upon my practice” (read “explain to her the curriculum because, ironically, she’s never taught it herself”).

Needless to say, it is not the highlight of my week. Although I have to admit that this year has been better (in other words, she keeps her mouth shut more this year).

The hour of doom was almost upon me when I received the most mysterious phone call in my classroom (remind me to tell you sometime about the “joys” of having a phone in the classroom).

Bacon Hunter: “Mmmmmm, hi. I need to cancel our meeting today.”

Me: “Oh (YAYAYAYAYYYYYYY!!!!!), ah-hem, why?”

BH: “I have a lot of work to do. You may not have noticed, but we gave the math test last week.”

Me: “Oh, because you were assessing, you can’t meet with us?”

BH: “I’m swamped.”

Me: “Oh, so you’re swamped with outside assessments? In addition to what you’re already expected to do? That must be hard.” (insert sarcastic tone here)

BH: “Mmmmm-hmmmmm”

Me:”Should I let everyone else know that since you are assessing, that you can’t meet and then maybe they can catch up with all THEIR additional work, since, you know, WE usually don’t get to cancel meetings because of our other responsibilities.”

BH: “Look, I have a lot on my plate”

Me: “Yea, I know. I can’t imagine having to work from 8 to 3 without a break and then to take work home. Oh, wait a minute, yes I can.”

BH: “I have to go.”

Me: “Hey, did that mom ever catch up with you about the tests?”


Hmmmmm. Verrrrry interesting.

I have some theories about her absence from our meeting (and my sudden freedom to catch up on MOUNDS of papers).

Theory #1 – She smelled bacon cooking and had to go for it.

Theory #2 – The administration of the math tests required her to put in more than two hours of consecutive work and rudely disrupted her usual schedule of coffee, bacon, coffee, water break, take up space in meeting, lunch, waste people’s time, online shop, pack up and go home. I mean, c’mon, can our principal really expect her to work from 8 to 3 and then possibly take stuff home?? Wait a minute….

Theory #3- My parent DID meet up with her and she is ashamed of herself.

You pick.

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