Just Learn To Balance A Ball On Your Nose, And We’ll Call It A Day

Today was our first day back together after our winter break. And while I absolutely contemplated poking myself in the eye when my alarm went off at 5 a.m., I was happy to see my friends today. They are just so damn cute.

Now if I’m honest with you, I’ll admit that I carried home all kinds of projects – my planner, upcoming units, chapter books, math manuals…you name it, I gave myself some scoliosis carrying it home last Friday. And then I promptly carried my load up to my office where it remained untouched for the entire vacation.

Are you judging me yet?

I rationalized it by telling myself that it was more important for me to catch up on my own studies and to spend my time rejuvenating.

I am now rejuvenated. Check.

Here is my other reason/rationalize/stop-judging-me:

This week is Assembly Week. (insert ominous music here)

Yes, my friends and I must jump through flaming hoops in front of the entire school this Friday. THIS FRIDAY!!!! That is just five short days to teach, rehearse and beat a program into their little heads. And despite all of our pleading and many well argued emails, the administration won’t change the date. They just can’t wait another week to see my little friends dance.

Those of you who work in schools may already know that Assemblies are NOT about actual learning. We are in NO WAY showing off our newly acquired knowledge. We are NOT aiming to teach anything or give our students a platform to shine. Oh no. That would make way too much sense.

Assemblies are really about man-handling your class to sing and dance like trained seals by any means possible – even means that you would NEVER consider bringing into your classroom. That’s right. I yell my face off during Assembly Week. And while it never strays into screaming (because I just can’t do that), it does meander into the slightly scary realm.

Again, I’m just being honest.

So keep your fingers crossed and maybe even send me a whistle (I could use it to deafen them into submission). I am about to spend a week abandoning my role as “teacher” and assuming the role of Nazi Assembly Master.

I can feel the rejuvenation slowly slipping away.

I miss teaching.

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  • Mimi, the rejuvenation faded away about 30 seconds after I walked in the door of the school today. It was a good thing I was alone as I reached the front doors- because an audible “yuck” escaped from my lips.

    Good luck with your program- I guess “the hokey pokey” is out of the question?

    February 26, 2008 at 2:13 am
  • lol our old principal used to make us perform stuff for assemblies as well (must be a universal torture)!

    she even had terms where it had to be poetry so i had to drum a poem into their heads (i had little people who couldn’t even remember their names half the time) lol

    all good in the end but i felt even sorrier for the kindy teachers who had to do something as basic as possible without it looking basic if you know what i mean!

    GOOD LUCK!!!

    February 26, 2008 at 12:33 pm
  • Would assemblies be the same thing as a music program? Maybe I’m too young or the Midwest doesn’t do them…

    I understand about wanting to teach…we have had 7 snow days now…not in a row thankfully! But I was gone last week with conferences and then a short trip to the dentist (happy gas is always great). It’s my treat on my birthday, sick, I know!

    Anyways, hoping your friends can jump through flaming hoops without burning their hair…if they still have it! My friends and I just laugh over your blog posts! Thanks for making our career choices fun!

    February 26, 2008 at 7:47 pm
  • I know they are a waste of time but I’m sure your kids will be great. Your students are lucky to have you as a teacher, honey. You are so funny!!

    March 1, 2008 at 8:24 pm

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