A Toasty Story to Warm Your Heart?
I’ve taken a bit of a break from the blogging and I’m sorry if anyone has felt disappointed. I know I am always sad when my regular blogs do not post regularly (in all honesty, sometimes, I’m just downright P.O.ed when it’s been awhile)…so I’m sorry.
I have a doozy.
My close friend is a third grade teacher upstairs. She is an amazing teacher and hysterically funny. We’ll call her Lola (she was a show girl….).
Lola has always had a hamster in her room. Personally, I think classroom pets are a NIGHTMARE. Years ago Ms. Weavalicious, in her typical on-the-ball fashion (please pick up on my heavily sarcastic tone here) dumped a gerbil in my room one day, telling me to “work it out.” And if you’ve been reading my more recent posts, yes, this has been a favorite phrase of her for a long time. Long story short, the gerbil bit every kid that tried to hold it and smelled like woodsy poo.
Lola is a bigger person than I. She has endured/enjoyed this hamster for two years. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, she asked a responsible child to take the hamster over the short break (with a parent’s permission of course). One sweet child volunteers. Lola doesn’t think much of the whole situation because really, she just doesn’t want to have to take the damn thing home.
Today she received the following note:
“Dear Ms. Lola,
I am so sorry about our hamster. He died this weekend in the sleeping position. I think he froze because it was so cold. My mother and I tried to defrost him in the oven, but it didn’t work. She says we will go get another one that looks the same.”
If you didn’t notice it the first time, let me draw your attention to the following sentence.
“MY MOTHER AND I TRIED TO DEFROST HIM IN THE OVEN…”
I can’t even really begin to imagine the train of thought that led to this horrifying conclusion.
Possible Thought Process 1 – “Oh no! Your poor hamster. The class is going to be so disappointed. Hmmmm….what can we do….I know! Let’s defrost him like a turkey!”
Possible Thought Process 2 – “What can I do to help this poor cold hamster? Where is the warmest place in the house? Oh, I know, I’ll turn on the oven and try to cook him back to life…”
Possible Thought Process 3 – “He looks so cold. And tasty…maybe we can feed him to the cat…Honey, turn on the oven!!”
Possible Thought Process 4 – “I need to start the turkey. I wonder if the oven is warm enough? What can I put in there to test the oven temperature? I know….Sweetie!! Go get the hamster!!!”
Does that warm your heart or what!
17 (really 15) more years
Mimi- How was Thanksgiving? We missed you!
That has to be the sickest story I ever heard- really now- roasted hamster?
Hi 17…I’ve missed everyone too! I had a great (and relaxing) Thanksgiving. How about you??
Hi Mimi- I hope you had a great turkey time! You know, you have to get a permit for a dog and a gun, however, any butt head can be parent?!?!
Desperate parents will do desperate things, I suppose. Let’s hope I’m never THAT desperate.
The only animals I want to see in the classroom are in an ant farm, which, ironically, are not allowed in case they get free.
you crack me up everytime…you should write a book 🙂
hee hee. ahem, i mean, gross.
so glad to see you back! hope the long weekend was long enough to get that school nonsense out of your head for a little while. 🙂
that’s AWESOME!!! well, in south america they do eat guinea pigs…
nowhere did the note say they turned the oven on. maybe it is a gas stove w/ a pilot light and they thought that wasn’t too hot??? still, the oven would not be my first thought upon finding said frozen hamster.
Thank God you are back! I needed a good laugh. You crack me up. I thought that this was funny. I had a gerbil once that my kid brought home because I was the only parent stupid enough to sign the permission slip for the “drawing”. She lived 2 years! Then one summer, I found her also “asleep” and took her cage and all to the dumpster before my kids got home from their dad’s. I thought they would blame me but they didn’t even notice she was gone.