Am I On Candid Camera?

Because, seriously? This is ridiculous. Someone MUST be filming this…

For the last few days (which have also been peppered with late night conferences, professional development sessions/time wasters so as you can assume, I’m in a fab state of mind)I have been relentlessly hounding my students to turn in their damn permission slips for a trip we had scheduled for today. Just to add another straw to the camel’s back, it is interesting to note that this is a field trip planned by Ms. Weavalicious. It’s like I should have seen it coming…

I mean, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…just shoot me. Really.

It’s 7:45 a.m. I have been at school for about thirty minutes putting the finishing touches on some amazing sktech pads and materials I have put together so that my students can record their own inspirations as we tour the museum. I am mentally preparing myself for the joys of field trips…the bathroom visits, lost seat belts…

It is now 7:55 a.m. I am on my way out the door to fill up my water bottle and pick up my class.

The phone rings.

Again, I should have seen it coming.

Ms. Weavalicious: Mrs. Mimi?

Me: Hi.

Ms. Weavalicious: Were you planning on going on the trip today?

Me: Um, yes.

Ms. Weavalicious: Because it was cancelled. Didn’t I tell you that?

Me: Um, no. (These are the moments when I think I should take deep breathing or yoga classes to re-center myself because honestly, I just want to go postal on her right about now).

Ms. Weavalicious: Yea, they cancelled on Friday. It must have slipped my mind.
Sorry. But you’ll work it out.

Me: Um….

Ms. Weavalicous: Don’t you have anything else planned?? I’m sure you can work something else out.

Me: Um, no. I was planning on being gone from 9 to 1. Can I have a sub for just half an hour or something so I can pull something together?? I have to go pick my class up.

Ms. Weavalcious: Sorry. No. I’m sure you’ll find a minute to pull something together. You’ll work it out.

Me: (You are lucky that we are surrounded by witnesses.) Ok…well, I have two chaperones coming. I think they took the day off work. Can you call them and explain? I don’t want them to come all the way back to school.

Ms.Weavalcious: Why can’t you do it? I think you could work that out.

Me: (If she tells me to “work it out” one more time, I just might scream something I regret into the phone…) Because I’ll be teaching and desperately scraping together a coherent day of instruction at the last minute???

Ms. Weavalicous: Don’t you have a cell phone?

Me: Yes…

Ms. Weavalcious: So you do it. You can work it out.

Me: While I’m supposed to be teaching and lesson planning?

Ms. Weavalicious: I’m sure you’ll work it out.

Later, when I sent a child with a note to her office, they reported back that she was busy reading the paper.

And while I pulled a fairly rocking day out of my a*s, I fantasized about bad things happening to Ms. Weavalcious. Not massive physical harm or anything…more like that she would get her wallet stolen, or her side view mirror ripped off in a drive-by…something annoying enough to ruin HER day. After all, I’m sure she’d work it out.

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