If Teachers Ruled The World

Sometimes I think the world should be run by teachers. And then I think, that maybe I should be careful what I wish for and qualify that statement. I think the world should be run by a hard-working, kick ass teacher, and NOT just some loser with a credential.

Speaking of losers with a credential, it’s been awhile since I updated you on the shenanigans of Mr. Big White Guitar.

Yesterday, I mentioned that I have had two hellatious days of field trips in a row. There just aren’t enough hours in the night to sleep that off!!

And, LUCKY ME, one of them was arranged and “organized” by Mr. BWG himself. Weeee!!!

We are supposed to go to a concert that is about a mile away…too far to walk with 80 children…but it’s quick hop, skip and a jump on a school bus. So, you might wonder why Mr. BWG wrote on the permission slip that we would be leaving an entire hour early. Hmmm….a whole hour to go one mile. Huh.

Since we were all away yesterday and Mr. BWG wasn’t here Monday, no one has recently discussed details. Silly us to think that they were taken care of. I mean, this is the same man who can’t manage to tune his guitar prior to a performance and insists on doing it during the perfomance, a man who speaks so slowly that you want to reach out and slap the sentence out of him, a man who NEVER picks classes up on time. F*ck me over once, shame on me. F*ck me over twice, why do you still have a job??

So, we tried to track down Mr. BWG to get some detes (that’s short for “details”…I am ultrahip, I know). But, suprise suprise, he isn’t at school yet, despite the school day being five minutes from officially starting.

At 8:15, still no Mr. BWG.

Soon, it’s 9:00, a mere thirty minutes before we are supposed to leave that we finally track Mr. BWG down. Gee, I hope he got enough sleep and lingered over his morning coffee!

It is now 9:05. My class is doing some independent reading an I’m ON THE PHONE trying to get some information out of this dweeb!

Me: So, are we really leaving at 9:30??
Him: That’s what I wrote on the permission slip.
Me: (Thanks, loser). Yes, but what are we going to do there for a whole hour.
Him: Oh, well leave later.
Me: But there are eight classes going…when do you want us all to line up.
Him: I mean, I don’t know, um, how about when you’re ready?
Me: Okaaaaay, but there’s already one class lined up and the rest don’t know what to do. How are we all supposed to get on the busses together? Can you just pick a time?
Him: You know, just, um, I don’t know, the show starts at 10:30, so be there before then.
Me: (fantasizing strangling him with a rogue guitar wire)(deep breath) (I hate you!!!) Are the busses here? When are you leaving?
Him: Um, I don’t really know…I
Me: LISTEN! Just pick a time so we can all share the busses and go.
Him: Why don’t you just go when you are ready?
Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN (WTF?!?!?!?)??? How are eight classes going to just get there when they feel like it?? The busses are waiting. We need to get two classes on each bus. We need to get there together to check in and pay…
Him: Oh…could you work it out with everyone.
Me: Hey, I’d love to do that for you but I’M TEACHING RIGHT NOW!!!! (my fantasy has now upgraded to smashing that big white guitar right up his….)
Him: Oh, I mean, um, we could….
Me: (click)

I then took over the situation, made a command decision and sent seven of my students off with notes.

So, I guess if Mr. Big White Guitar was running the country we’d all be left waiting for him to tune his guitar and finish his sentence. My wish stands ammended.

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  • Dude… better you than me. He would have gotten hurt.

    October 26, 2007 at 2:19 am
  • My colleages and I are all in agreement that you should publish your teaching memoirs. You crack us up.

    October 26, 2007 at 8:20 pm
  • Thanks ajninja…my husband thinks I should too…or rather, he thinks it would be nice to collect royalties…

    and jen…he may be by the end of the year. He better keep his fingers crossed!

    October 27, 2007 at 1:36 am
  • I would have slapped the shit out of him.

    October 27, 2007 at 12:51 pm
  • Our tax dollars would be safe if this guy was eligible for merit pay!!!

    October 29, 2007 at 12:04 pm
  • Sometimes people forget how much is involved in planning trips like this. I was waiting to read that the buses didn’t show up because nobody had requested them.

    I annually take my 6th grade band students on an elementary tour to play for all of the elementary campuses in our district. One year the buses came an hour late and I had to frantically make phone calls. The school that had us scheduled was unable to do it later because of lunch conflicts.

    I always make it a point to double check and triple check when hoards of students are involved.

    November 3, 2007 at 9:05 pm

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