Why Do I Have To Be The Adult?

Alternative Title – Farts Still Make Me Laugh

I think that all of us who work in the public school system are familiar with the phenomenon of post-lunch gas. Particularly from those friends who eat the free and reduced “lunch”. In my situation, that would be the whole class. Some days, it’s just downright toxic on the carpet.

(Just to clarify here, I’m not talking about the elusive but ever present Teacher Fart because that could be a whole post in and of itself…don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about either.)

Today must have been an unusually potent day in the cafeteria because we had an “incident” after lunch.

To catch you up to speed, we recently planted grass seed in three different soil samples to determine the type of soil that is best for plant growth. Pretty gnarly, I know, but my kids are rockstars if I do say so myself…and I do…often. On Friday, the grass was about half an inch high. Today it was three inches tall and darn impressive. Again, rockstars.

Most of the kids noticed the grass as soon as they walked in the room. (Seriously, have you ever noticed the radar on some kids…you move a certain poster half an inch to the left and they notice AND comment on it…profusely…to the point where sometimes adding new stuff to the classroom is just annoying because you know it will result in some high drama the next morning.) Remember, I said MOST.

I have one little friend who has not made the blog yet. He’s a pudgy guy with big eyes and the longest eye lashes you’ve ever seen. Really, he’s very cute except he is INSANELY SLOW TO FOLLOW SIMPLE DIRECTIONS. Honestly, he’s lucky he has those eyelashes…

Anyway, we’re had just gotten back from lunch when I address the grass samples. I take them down from the bookshelf and rocked Luscious Lashes’ world.

He got so excited about the grass that he exclaimed, “Wow!!” and evidently all the excitement and force he used to exclaim “wow” coincided with a raging gas attack because he practically blew two of my girls off the rug!!

It was like it ripped time and space in half. Afterwards, a silence filled the room. Children’s eyes darted madly around the room, hands covered mouths in desperate attempts to not laugh. After all, we have had the “Everybody Farts” talk multiple times.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold it together. Me. The grownup.

I laughed. And that was it. I’m glad Luscious Lashes has a good sense of humor.

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