Why Do I Have To Be The Adult?
Alternative Title – Farts Still Make Me Laugh
I think that all of us who work in the public school system are familiar with the phenomenon of post-lunch gas. Particularly from those friends who eat the free and reduced “lunch”. In my situation, that would be the whole class. Some days, it’s just downright toxic on the carpet.
(Just to clarify here, I’m not talking about the elusive but ever present Teacher Fart because that could be a whole post in and of itself…don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about either.)
Today must have been an unusually potent day in the cafeteria because we had an “incident” after lunch.
To catch you up to speed, we recently planted grass seed in three different soil samples to determine the type of soil that is best for plant growth. Pretty gnarly, I know, but my kids are rockstars if I do say so myself…and I do…often. On Friday, the grass was about half an inch high. Today it was three inches tall and darn impressive. Again, rockstars.
Most of the kids noticed the grass as soon as they walked in the room. (Seriously, have you ever noticed the radar on some kids…you move a certain poster half an inch to the left and they notice AND comment on it…profusely…to the point where sometimes adding new stuff to the classroom is just annoying because you know it will result in some high drama the next morning.) Remember, I said MOST.
I have one little friend who has not made the blog yet. He’s a pudgy guy with big eyes and the longest eye lashes you’ve ever seen. Really, he’s very cute except he is INSANELY SLOW TO FOLLOW SIMPLE DIRECTIONS. Honestly, he’s lucky he has those eyelashes…
Anyway, we’re had just gotten back from lunch when I address the grass samples. I take them down from the bookshelf and rocked Luscious Lashes’ world.
He got so excited about the grass that he exclaimed, “Wow!!” and evidently all the excitement and force he used to exclaim “wow” coincided with a raging gas attack because he practically blew two of my girls off the rug!!
It was like it ripped time and space in half. Afterwards, a silence filled the room. Children’s eyes darted madly around the room, hands covered mouths in desperate attempts to not laugh. After all, we have had the “Everybody Farts” talk multiple times.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold it together. Me. The grownup.
I laughed. And that was it. I’m glad Luscious Lashes has a good sense of humor.
cbh
i have to say the radar my kids have is amazing. i forgot mascara one morning and a student comments, “you look different today.” i then realized they stare at me all day long. i suddenly became very aware of myself.
17 (really 15) more years
The sad part is, I’m still having the “Everybody farts” discussion with 8th graders. (wait- isn’t that the name of an REM song?)
Christi Overman
Oh yeah…seriously, I think not a day goes by when one of my kids farts. They laugh, I pretend not to hear and crack up later.
Christi Overman
I actually mean “Not a day goes by when one of my kids DOESN’T fart.” Oops!
Anonymous
I had a dysfunctional student a few years ago who when he needed to fart (I mean look out!!!) He would lift his leg or buttocks and let her rip. Nary a smile came out of him. Just the smell that would melt the hairs in your nostrils. I called his dad in to discuss it and he came in with over-alls on that were ripped from the fly to the waistband in the back. I was lucky he had on longjohns or I would have been passed out like Marie Osmond at the Dancing with the Stars last night.
Susan
I just found your blog today and this story is so timely. One of my colleagues came to tell me that this happened to her today during the reading of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”. She said the timing was incredible…but she was glad it when it was time to go to lunch so they could just get away.
Enjoyed your blog.
🙂 Susan
Betty
I have asked myself the same question about having to be the adult. A few years ago I had a student pass gas that sounded like an exclamation point. It was exam time, and everyone was quietly working. I was the one who lost it. When I got myself back together, I lost it again. It just hit me as being so funny. The kids just looked at me like I was crazy and kept working. I still laugh when I think about it.
Mimi
I’m sitting here laughing out loud reading your comments…thanks everyone!
mex (aka Syb)
GREAT blog:))
gladf i stumbled into it!
i got a lot of smiles.. perhaps the largest @ you going to see the fire fighters.. FIRE STATION
hehehehe
SL
Joel
Haha, I have just plain stopped trying to act like the adult most of the time.
Teaching middle school band, I have plenty of opportunities to hear noises that SOUND like bodily functions happening in class. Since I live on the border, I usually make jokes about the student having too many bean and cheese tacos or whatever.
Needless to say, Nacho Libre was totally my kind of movie. How sad is that?
雪花
希望大家都會非常非常幸福~
「朵朵小語‧優美的眷戀在這個世界上,最重要的一件事,就是好好愛自己。好好愛自己,你的眼睛才能看見天空的美麗,耳朵才能聽見山水的清音。好好愛自己,你才能體會所有美好的東西,所有的文字與音符才能像清泉一樣注入你的心靈。好好愛自己,你才有愛人的能力,也才有讓別人愛上你的魅力。而愛自己的第一步,就是切斷讓自己覺得黏膩的過去,以無沾無滯的輕快心情,大步走向前去。愛自己的第二步,則是隨時保持孩子般的好奇,願意接受未知的指引;也隨時可以拋卻不再需要的行囊,一路雲淡風輕。親愛的,你是天地之間獨一無二的旅人,在陽光與月光的交替之中瀟灑獨行.............................................................................................................
有時,你覺得痛。胃痛的時候,接受它,承認這個疼痛是你的身體的一部份,與它和平共處。心痛的時候,接受它,承認這個經驗是你的生命的一部份,與它和平共處。抗拒痛的存在,只會讓它更要證明它的存在,於是你就更痛。所以,.無論你有多麼不喜歡痛的感覺,還是要接納這個痛的事實。與你的痛站在同一邊,不逃避,不閃躲,不再與你的痛爭執,如此,你的痛才會漸漸不再胡鬧,才會乖乖平息下去。.................