Toplessness – Always Good For A Laugh
All right, friends. It’s Friday. It felt like this week went on forever. It feels like we could all use a laugh. By the by – I know our job is CRAZY IMPORTANT and, in my opinion, more important than most jobs, but when did it become so heavy? Ugh!
So, here is a hilarious story as a bit of a TGIF-go-grab-a-cocktail-you-made-it-through-the-day celebration. Full disclosure- I am actually about to retell one of Big Mama Mimi’s famous stories. (And before you ask, no, this story does not involve my mother getting topless. Sheesh.) This is a story she told during her retirement dinner at the end of last year and brought down the house. Seriously, I’m talking people gasping for air laughing. I have never been more proud. (Also, remind me to tell you guys sometime about this dinner. Epic celebration of an amazing educator. Epic.)
Evidently, back in the day (and my mother had taught for many days), people watched 16 millimeter films. I know I myself watched them as a wee lass sitting in a classroom in a galaxy far far away, but you have to forgive me because I was not paying attention to the particulars of said-filmstrip, I was probably peeing in my pants excited about getting to watch a movie. So there’s that. Anyhow, according to my mother, filmstrips came in these gigantic canisters, which, occasionally made them a bit daunting to preview. (Insert ominous music here…because you know that everyone’s first year of teaching is PRIME for some hilarious stories of disaster.)
Cut to my mother in one of her first years of teaching. For many years, she taught with the same Super Colleague who is like a member of our family. Together, they decided to show Nanook of the North, one of the first documentaries ever filmed. Figuring that it was a silent movie shot in 1921 (and came in a massive film canister), my mother and her colleague decided NOT to preview the movie. I mean, what could go wrong with Nanook and his clan?
They dim the lights. Nanook and his family race across the ice in a dogsled. So far, so good. Nanook and his family stop for the night and make an igloo. Fantastic. Nanook and his family arrange furs to stay warm for the night. Great! The kids settle down to sleep while Mrs. Nanook straightens up the igloo. My mother and her colleague high-five their teaching fabulousness! Mr. Nanook takes off his shirt and gets between the furs. Huh. Okay… Mrs. Nanook heads for the furs. Hmmmmm…. She reaches for the bottom of her top. Wait, what? She wouldn’t. Would she? Annnnnnddddd…BAM! This is the part where a room full of 9 year olds learn that women living on the tundra in the 1920s do not believe in wearing foundational garments. Yes, friends, we’re topless.
Like shots from a cannon, my mother and her Super Colleague were out of their seats. My mother blocked the screen while her colleague silenced a room full of preadolescent hysteria with one single Teacher Look and the following words:
I don’t to hear one sound out of any of you. That woman…could be…your mother!
And with that, my mother’s super colleague launched into a brilliant, impromptu speech about cultural sensitivity. Crisis averted.
So, cheers to that, eh? I hope you had a fabulous week, that you have an even better weekend and that you can find some places to laugh in your classrooms next week.