I’ve Got That “Over This” Feeling
I think it’s kind of like losing that loving feeling, but more school related and less tortured romance. All over the lovely blogosphere (again, a word I hate using…so nerdy…so very, very nerdy), teachers are counting down the days. I always preferred big, black Xs on the calendar. There’s such a feeling of satisfaction when you cross those puppies off with a big, fat, black Sharpie. *shudders* Love it.
I’m not so sure what causes this phenomenon in teachers – this obsessive counting down of the days. Most of us swear up and down that we LOVE our jobs, we LOVE our little friends, that we CAN’T IMAGINE doing anything else…yet, we all know exactly how many days before our next vacation. My guess is that we really DO love the kids, the teaching, the planning, the classroom…we just get BURNT OUT on all the other crap that seems to be coming at us from every direction! (Read: standardized tests, data collection, demands on our time, last minute assemblies and canceled field trips, just for starters.)
Regardless of it’s origins, this feeling is perhaps it’s most intense at the end of the year. Intense like you can’t take it anymore. Intense like if one more person asks you to “just be flexible and get it done” you might totally lose your shit. Intense like sometimes you feel like running from the building like your hair was on fire. (When in reality, it probably means you leave *gasp* before 5 a few days and feel like you’ve just stolen something…you know, ‘cuz it’s so early.)
And the temptations to stop teaching are just everywhere. Kids are over it. As is exemplified by their inability to sit still, tear their eyes from the window and/or complete work. Parents are over it. As is exemplified by their reluctance to check homework anymore, sign permission slips in a timely manner or call you back. Administrators are over it. As is exemplified by their unwillingness to deal with any current issues, have a conversation about anything but next year and/or appear interested. Sometimes I felt like the last stronghold. The one digging in my (fabulous) high heels and screaming, “The year isn’t over yet! We can still get so much learning in!! ”
But as I watched everyone around me slowly disengage, I fell victim to the joy that is popping in a video or the rationale of “extra recess” on a gorgeous day.
Yet every time I did this, I felt consumed with guilt and then spent the next feverish evening planning amazing projects and end-of-the-year fabulousness, because I am a guilty person. It’s not one of my better qualities.
So….how are YOU feeling? How are you dealing with The Bitter End??? (Can you see the light yet? It’s there…at the end of the tunnel!)