Hypocritical Times

Today I was at the library researching childbirth classes dutifully dissertating and maybe looking at maternity clothes online but whatever when I heard somebody’s cell phone ring. Loudly. And repeatedly.

As I am currently missing the classroom pretty hard core, I glanced around ready to shoot someone my best Teacher Look. I figure it’s like a foreign language – if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it. (And so I use it at every opportunity…watch out for me at Stop and Shop!)

However, someone had beat me to it and taken my plan of flashing a well placed Teacher Look to a whole new level. A rude level. A level in which it is appropriate to give another person an intensely dirty look while simultaneously mouthing the words, “what the f*ck?” I shit you not. Even I, who enjoys the use of colorful language from time to time, would not dare. So I tucked my Teacher Look back into my pocket for another day and went back to online shopping work.

AND THEN….

another cell phone ruptures the productive silence. I quickly fix my face into the perfect Teacher Look, ready to beat out Rude Guy McCurses-In-Public, when I noticed it was Rude Guy’s freaking cell phone. AAAAANNNNNDDDDD….he decided to TAKE THE CALL AND TAKE IT LOUDLY.

Perhaps it was a big middle finger aimed at the previous offender (who I might add, quickly silenced her phone and looked a satisfying amount of sheepish) or perhaps he is actually Hipocrtical Guy McCurses-In-Public.

And do you know what all of this reminded me of, friends? The day to day hypocracy that some teachers choose to embrace with a ferver I reserve for well, actual teaching and….shoes, but that’s another story. Anyhow, I’m sure you all know who I’m talking about. That Preachy Preaches A Lot Teacher who doesn’t actually practice what they preach.

An example or two:

Mrs. Do What I Say, Not What I Do – This is the teacher who, during a fire drill, SCREAMS at her class to BE QUIET. If screaming at children to make them zip their lip isn’t hypocracy enough for you, this is also the same teacher who then turns to a nearby colleague and engages in a loud conversation. About nothing. Clearly embracing the Do What I Say Not What I Do school of thought, this teacher’s class can be seen exchanging glances that reek of “WTH?” while observing said behavior on the part of their teacher. As the cherry on her hypocritcal sundae, this teacher is also known for standing up during staff meetings and complaining about how loud the last fire drill was in her opinion. (Insert incredulous staring of entire staff here.)

Ms. Breaks the School Rules When She Feels Like It Hypocritson– Ah, Ms. Hypocritson enjoys blatantly disregarding the laws of school traffic flow. Despite clearly labeled stairwells marked UP and DOWN, this teacher insists on walking her class UP the DOWN side every morning, claiming that she hates waiting to get started with her day. *coughing* Bullshit! (Was that out loud?) Her class, high on the disregard for school rules, shoots “check us out sucka!” looks at all the children dutifully following behind their rule abiding teachers. This combination makes for a great lesson in following rules, especially when the children throwing looks are older students usually reserved for setting an example. From time to time, Ms. Hypocritson can also be seen RUNNING UP the DOWN side, but just on those extra special days when she feels like giving the rest of us a little bit extra “suck it” with our coffee.

Mr. No Apparent Regard For His Own Schedule Von Nasty Note Leaver– These are a rare breed of hypocrite. Typically someone who is responsible for either Push In or Pull Out services (and therefore needs to go around to various classrooms following a schedule every day), this individual thrives on NEVER BEING ON TIME. In fact, they are typically ten minutes late to arrive and either leave your classroom or drop your students off ten minutes early. With periods that last approximately 45 minutes, that’s only 25 minutes of actual instructional time not counting travel time. I know, sweet, right? Cuz those kids totally don’t need extra support – their IEPs are just for ha has. However, what makes this breed of hypocrite truly special is their BRAZEN BALLSINESS. (Is that even a word? Should it be spelled “ballsyness”? Am afraid to type it into a search engine to check…) You see, on the rare occasion that YOU are not where you are supposed to be (your classroom) because of an assembly, a field trip or some other educationally related purpose and you (call the police!) forget to write a note and stick it to the door because, oh, I don’t know, you’re busy managing TWENTY OTHER PEOPLE, there is hell to pay in the form of a NASTY NOTE STUCK TO YOUR DOOR FOR ALL TO SEE. Usually this note includes words such as “unprofessional”, “lack of respect for my time” and “in the future I expect you to” which only serve to a) make it even better when you read it out loud at lunch for a few laughs or b) make your heart rate sky rocket…you know, depending on the kind of day you’re having.

Is it weird that I still miss it?