I Pity the Fool
Ah, and the Bacon Hunter strikes again. This last year has been so much better and so different from my previous experiences with her as a “staff developer” (read “raging waste of space”). Perhaps all the negative commentary and ground standing got through and she decided to slow her role this year. Whatever. I don’t care. She has been far less irritating.
And then…. (C’mon, you knew that was coming didn’t you? Like I would post a glowing review of her or something. Please!)
In the spirit of Extreme Standardized Testing, we have decided to test the living daylights out of small children who haven’t even reached an official testing grade yet. I know, it’s awesome (insert sarcastic tone here, and maybe a small tear running down my cheek). And the Bacon Hunter developed a whole NEW test that not only duplicates some of the findings of old tests and impacts my instruction in no way at all, she has also found a way to make the test a degrading experience for teachers too. Jackpot, right?
Let me explain. She decided that we needed ANOTHER math test which was catered only to the state standards for our grade (keep in mind that we are already assessing children on these standards about four hundred other ways that are more authentic and telling than a pen to paper test). We are mandated (read bitch-slapped if we don’t comply) to give this assessment about once a month. So not only is it unnecessary, it’s basically omni-present. As icing on the cake, she also demands (read wields her non-existent authority) that we turn the completed test in to her so SHE can grade them.
Because I can’t draw the hands on a clock correctly.
Or add double digit numbers.
Or measure a straight line to the nearest inch.
I mean, you all know that teachers are only as smart as the grade they teach and since I teach a lower grade….
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me? I can’t correct my own students WORK? So not only do you waste my/our time by insisting that we engage in this ridiculousness, you also insult my intelligence and maintain your position as a raging jerk off.
Sah-weet.
Fast foward to parent/teacher conferences. The Bacon Hunter has corrected and photo-copied the most recent Assessment Of Nothing that she has created and has once again demanded (read snarled) that it be distributed to parents during conferences.
“And I will be checking up on you.”
Because again, I am no smarter than or more responsible than the children I teach.
In the spirit of Being Positive in 2008, I have decided not to fight this battle. ( OK, in all honesty, I fought this battle tooth and nail last year and lost. Stupid teacher, I should remember my place. At the bottom. )
I am in the middle of a conference with the second parent of the night when I dutifully hand out the test. A particularly motivated and concerned parent (Yes, friends, they are out there and I heart them) took the time to look through the test.
Something which I had failed to do because I was also dispensing reams of my own much more useful student work to parents. Oops.
Her: “Mrs. Mimi, why was this marked wrong?”
Me, looking at the paper and seeing that the child has written 6 x 3 = 18 in response to a number story. Which is correct.
Me: “Uuuhhhhh…I’m not sure.”
Her: “Didn’t you correct this test?”
Me: (shit) “No.”
Her: “Who did?”
Me: “Our math specialist.”
Her: “And isn’t this also correct?”
Me, looking at the paper once again, seeing 22 + 15 = 37, which is, yet again, correct.
Me: ” Um, yes it is.”
Her: “Actually it looks like my son should have gotten several of these marked correct.”
Me: “Yes, it does.”
Her: “What does your math specialist do with the results of this test?”
Me: “She graphs the information for the entire grade and then it is placed in the kids’ permanent records.”
Her: “And it’s incorrect?”
Me: “Um, yes. Again, I’m very sorry. Please know that I plan instruction and grade your child based on assessments I create, assign and grade myself, more than I look at this kind of data. While it is required, I rely more on the notes I take as children are actually engaged in math work.”
Her: “I am sure that you do. I have a lot of confidence in your work. My son has been making a lot of progress this year. But don’t you think I should bring these errors on the part of your math specialist to the attention of the principal? I mean, this is more than just one mistake. ”
Me: “Yes, yes I do think he would be interested. Let me walk you down to his office.”
Is it wrong that I smiled from ear to ear the entire walk down the stairs?
Cathy
That’s awesome!!! Way to go parent for checking the test! How did it go with the principal???
Dr Pezz
Since I enjoy reading your blog, I’d be interested to see what you come up with using this meme:
http://drpezz.wordpress.com/2008/03/15/meme-passion-quilt/
Bert
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Perhaps with a side of irony and poetic justice.
Well done!
Betty
As a grandparent of two young boys, I feel so sorry for them about all of the testing. The Bacon Hunter should be ashamed of herself. It doesn’t look like she does a very good job of checking children’s work either. I’d like to throw her new test over the fence!
17 (really 15) more years
Rarely does a testing story warm my heart as much as this one did. You have to us how it went with the principal.
JJ and EJ
Ha! No! You SHOULDN’T feel bad about grinning ear to ear! Assessment is so important when it is done appropriately. Good work!
Decidedly Diane
Oh Mimi,
Why did I have to pick up my Instructor Magazine and lose myself in your ‘blog for well over an hour when my not-yet-begun report cards are due Mon @ 8am?!? Thank you for a well-deserved recess for so many of us rejoicing (and toiling) in the trenches.
Edna Lee
I love that you “encouraged” that parent to share the information (misinformation) with the pricipal. Way to go! We have an entire department at our distict that does what Bacon Hunter does. Actually, I should say “had” an entire department. Budget cuts…darn.
Jewels
It’s just sad how much education these students loose with all their time being spent on test-prep! It drives me nuts!
And way to go super parent! I’d be skipping and grinning down to the principals office. How did it go?!
雪花
希望大家都會非常非常幸福~
「朵朵小語‧優美的眷戀在這個世界上,最重要的一件事,就是好好愛自己。好好愛自己,你的眼睛才能看見天空的美麗,耳朵才能聽見山水的清音。好好愛自己,你才能體會所有美好的東西,所有的文字與音符才能像清泉一樣注入你的心靈。好好愛自己,你才有愛人的能力,也才有讓別人愛上你的魅力。而愛自己的第一步,就是切斷讓自己覺得黏膩的過去,以無沾無滯的輕快心情,大步走向前去。愛自己的第二步,則是隨時保持孩子般的好奇,願意接受未知的指引;也隨時可以拋卻不再需要的行囊,一路雲淡風輕。親愛的,你是天地之間獨一無二的旅人,在陽光與月光的交替之中瀟灑獨行.............................................................................................................
有時,你覺得痛。胃痛的時候,接受它,承認這個疼痛是你的身體的一部份,與它和平共處。心痛的時候,接受它,承認這個經驗是你的生命的一部份,與它和平共處。抗拒痛的存在,只會讓它更要證明它的存在,於是你就更痛。所以,.無論你有多麼不喜歡痛的感覺,還是要接納這個痛的事實。與你的痛站在同一邊,不逃避,不閃躲,不再與你的痛爭執,如此,你的痛才會漸漸不再胡鬧,才會乖乖平息下去。.................