Looks Like Somebody’s Got A Case of the Mondays…but it’s Tuesday…
(sigh)
After a very rejuvenating and well-deserved long weekend, I returned to work today ready to go!! My classroom was ready, thanks to a late night on Friday (I know, I’m the coolest on a Friday night) and I felt remotely rested.
At our team planning meeting, we talked about our next unit in science. After developing ideas about living vs. non-living things, we are going to start working with soil The kids need to classify different types of soil, examine what is in the soil and begin to think about water retention in soil (I could tell them a thing or two about water retention … but that’s for another day).
We are ready to go.. psyched to plan….pens are out and poised anxiously above the page waiting for genius to issue forth from our lips. And then:
Me: Uh, (Yes, I started with “uh”. You know I’m bound to be brilliant when I start with “uh”) so, do we have any soil to use?
Team mate: Uh (equally brilliant), no.
Me: Hm. Interesting.
Team mate: I guess we could go to the park and dig some up.
Me: That’s sad.
In walks Ms. Weavilicious, vice-principal du jour. Awesome. We’ll ask her.
Me: So, is there any soil for us to use in the science lab for our new unit?
Ms. W: No.
Me: Super.
Team mate: We’re struggling with how to get through this next series of lessons on soil without any, um, soil.
Ms. W.: You can work it out.
Team mate: Do you have any ideas for us?
Ms. W.: I’m sure you can find pictures of dirt somewhere. Just have them imagine the dirt.
Ah, yes! Why didn’t we think of that? Imagine the dirt boys and girls. Oh, boys and girls, did you know that sometimes scientists sit quietly in a room and imagine the thing they want to study. Then they write down what they learned by using their imagination. Science is all make believe! We can all really fly! The Tooth Fairy is real! When a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!
As you can see, the bullshit is so deep that I’m starting to lose my grip on reality. I guess I’m off to the garden center.
X
“Just have them imagine the dirt” is my new favorite admin quote.
Jen Barney
oh my gar… I would love to meet ol’ weavilicious- she seems like a peach!
glenda
“You can work it out”–don’t you HATE that response?! It’s the answer for anyone who doesn’t feel like reacting to a problem. “You can work it out!” Argh!!!!
Your blog is hilarious, btw. I can’t remember if I’ve commented before or not, but wanted to let you know that you crack me up!
organized chaos
My school volunteered to be part of a study for a well-known University testing their gifted and talented science curriculum. They presented us with elaborate lessons and then looked baffled when we asked where we were going to get the elulid plants, microscopes, litmus paper, scalpels, and other lab equipment. The schools don’t naturally supply these to first grade classrooms? I can’t imagine the last time these experts actually entered a school… I’m glad we’re not the only ‘under supplied’ school out there…
In2theTrenches
OMG, Mimi, you crack me up every time! I so admire that you can vent about these things, but still keep your wits about you and keep things in perspective, and still be positive about your students. Keep ’em coming! I get so excited every time you post!
ms. preppy
Oh.my.gosh. Seriously?! I mean, seriously?!? Just have them imagine it…Whatever!
Maybe you should have the kidlets compare and contrast the dirt and the crap Ms. W keeps giving you.
Bertram
Mimi…I think you are channeling Douglas Adams…I laughed out loud three times with that one. Run, don’t walk to your nearest bookstore and pickup “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. The prose style will be very familiar to you!
CP
It drives me crazy that teachers aren’t given more support. They deserve it. I mean, it’s a five dollar bag of dirt for crying out loud. I know every purchase has to go through a huge policy and procedure. Most of the time, teachers do what you did, throw their hands up in the air and buy it for themselves. This is why you all deserve raises, pedicures and spa days. Yours is the hardest profession I know…right along with mine. Nursing. Another job that is overworked, underpaid and thankless.
CP
sexy
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